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Happy Saturday..... I finally decided to wake up and start my day...at 9:30.... I have to say I am completely worn out... Prior to Thanksgiving... I had been taking a nap every day.... I am slowly regaining my energy!
I have had many people ask how Thanksgiving went and what I ate.... Honestly.... I have never really focused on the food on Thanksgiving... I truly just love spending time with family. It is always held at my mom's house which is very fun! Prior to going to mom's... I packed my little cooler with my meds and vitamins as well as my food and liquids.... I helped mom in the kitchen most of the day... hung out with my aunt, uncle and cousins... and grandma as well... It was so nice to see everyone. It was also nice to hear the compliments.... People kept saying I looked so healthy-including my complexion... obviously a 20+ pound weight loss does not hurt that either!
I was immersed in the food all day and did not crave anything. It was odd because for some reason I did not even smell it. The only thing that somewhat effected me was my aunt's cheese ball... I LOVE this.... I looked at it... then remembered that eating even a bite would have me visiting the porcelain gods and maybe ER... so that was a 15 second thought. I ate my applesauce and pudding... and that was the end... It did not effect me in the least!
I stayed at mom's house and got up early for Black Friday with mom and grandma. We always have soo much fun! I was a little slower getting up... and had to pack vitamins and liquids... but it was fun! We came back about 9:30 so I could eat my applesauce and I decided to stay back... Okay... it was a little planned... Matt was coming over so we could surprise mom by decorating the outside of the house.
We had to tell a few fibs to keep mom from finding out what we were doing. We had shopped for outside decor and lights throughout the week. Thanksgiving Day we had to sneak outside so I could put things in his car... so mom did not see them in mine. Well... I told mom that Matt was coming over to her house to watch a holiday movie with me. Oooopsie... Not quite the truth... but it worked!
We put up twinkling icicle lights... red lights around the door and garage- my dad used to always to this and add a couple of yard ornaments and call it done- We put lights on the big tree bushes... nets on the small bushes.... tree stakes along the front bed... snowman twinkling stakes around the tree... a moving flamingo... a Snoopy yard thing... a train yard thing... a blow up reindeer... a cube snowman... another Snoopy... another Snowman.... Santa on the window... decorated the light pole and put a snowman next to it... I might be missing something....
Mom and grandma got home when we were at Lowe's getting more lights... She called and was truly shocked! We DID IT!! We surprised the heck out of her! She kept going outside last night to look at it! This was the point... Our goal this year is to show her how much we care! So far so good...
I came home last night... had to get in a little more fluids and protein... I am still not getting in 60+ grams of protein... but am getting at least half... I will continue to try.... I just keep gagging... it is just NASTY... I have to find something.... Needless to say... today I am exhausted.... but it was all well worth it!

Happy start of the holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I am extremely thankful for so much. This year I am reminding myself of the true purpose of Thanksgiving. It is not about the food but about the company and about the memories.
I am thankful for my family.... the relationship I have with my mother- best friend... the relationship I have with my brother- my protector in many ways....
I am thankful for the amazing memories of my father- the foundation he created for our family.... the strength he left us with..
I am thankful for my extended family and the many personalities and ability to joke and care....
I am thankful for my amazing friends.... those new and old....
I am thankful for my fabulous doggies..... Boogie for being such a companion to my father... and Bob for being such a source of support for my mom when she needed him....
I am thankful for my health.... as of November 11th... it has never been better....
I am thankful for an amazing surgeon and team.... I am absolutely blown away by how my incisions are healing!
I am thankful for so much more... but will just say I am thankful for everything and everyone that is in my life and has been in my life!

Enjoy the day with your family and friends!

Almost 100% of routine

After a rough start Tuesday morning... I was determined to get everything in. Well.... seemed difficult since I went back to bed until close to noon after the incident....I decided to make a protein shake with a different kind of powder- thankfully....
I used this whipped vanilla powder and a cup of milk... all in the blender... well it smelled ok... so I thought adding a cup of sugar free vanilla pudding would make it even better.... All I can say is BAD idea.... It was THICK.... The taste was half ok... but the texture was a disaster.... However, it had 38 grams of protein... over half of what I need for the day.... So what did I do? I am so proud of myself... I choked it all down! It took a little over an hour... but it went down!!
I supplemented the rest of protein with cottage cheese and milk... I was a few grams away from 60... Pretty awesome since I have struggled with it. I even got all of my fluids in as well! Oh... and all of my vitamins... I changed the order- I now start with calcium... I find it much easier for some reason! I did miss one dose of Carafate- I am not thrilled about this... BUT I was also cautious with it because of the morning. Oh and i did not get in 3 meals because it was soo late- so I had an extra cup of milk!
Today I am up and have started on the routine... I do need to go to Menards in a bit as well! I am learning to adapt the schedule! I think I will try the chicken soup protein supplement and half of a vanilla Chike for today..... then supplement with milk.
Happy Thanksgiving!

YUCK

Normally I wait until the end of the day to post... However, this morning's event deserves its own post.... I have had people ask if I have gotten sick... So far I have been ok with the exception of right after surgery and a little bowel issue... I had not had any of the dry heaving... Sorry I know it is gross.
Well... this morning it happened... I got up to take the liquid suspension medication I take 4 times a day... I knew my stomach was sour....which is not abnormal... Well I always do the medication like a shot.... I did that this morning... it took a bit to swallow it... and once I did swallow it.... I got a sour taste in my mouth... I did deep breathing- which I was told to do in this situation- and I kept doing it... unfortunately I also had dry heaving... I was sweating and shaking! There was absolutely nothing fun about it... I am sitting here trying to drink and hoping the shaking stops....
So... there is the morning reality check!

Haircut Monday

Well.... after getting through the morning nausea- which is much better... I decided to put on real clothes and leave! A shirt I thought might be tight was actually loose! Woohooo..... I got a haircut and went into the office to say hi and ask a question. It was really nice getting out! I still stayed on top of my fluids... I cannot say the same about protein...
Let's talk about protein.... I tried a pre-made fruit type protein. It is supposed to be ok when diluted. Unfortunately I tried to dilute two flavors two different ways... both ways it was just NASTY..... I did learn I can get 14 grams from cottage cheese. Too bad that is 25% of what I need. I did supplement with skim milk!! I cannot figure out why skim milk is going down so well.... or why I crave it so much... but at the end of the day I am thrilled!
Total weight loss to this point is about 20 pounds! Woohoooo!!!

Super Sunday

Today was an odd day... I woke up with every intention of going to Mom's house....Then I felt very tired- I know get your protein in and you will not... Then I took a nap and went to Mom's. I am so glad I went! I have been nervous to go anywhere for an extended period of time because I have to haul fluids, protein, food and supplements with me- Oh and the lovely Carafate. Well I did it! I packed a little cooler.... I stayed on schedule while I was there!
Mom was decorating for Christmas which is really exciting! I already have one tree up! It is just nice to be ready! So we hung out... the dogs were fabulous! Bob did not jump- amazing! I even drank a lot of milk to get protein which was nice... Then we went to Wal-Mart... Such a trip but I did get some new protein supplements. I hope I can tolerate them!
So yesterday I tried protein powders. It was rough. I tried to make a strawberry shake from Whey protein and sugar free kool-aid! I failed... The smell got me! I did mix a little chocolate with chocolate pudding... That I could stand. However, it is impossible to get all needed in that way... or even be really close that way! I then tried to mix unflavored in with apple sauce. Failure. It was horrendous!
Today I will end up with 24 grams... which is less than half of what I should have... However, something is better then nothing. I am sure I will soon find something I can tolerate! If you have any suggestions... it would be greatly appreciated. The key is low on sugar!
Happy Sunday!

WoW Moment

People speak of wow moments after surgery. Generally it has to do with what others say or something they could not do before and now can do. Mine are not quite that magnitude but I do have a couple....
1- Immodium is a life saver right now! Between my monthly friend and my body adjusting... something had to give and I think it did!
2- I know I am only supposed to step on the scale once a week max, but right now I cannot resist- maybe I should move the scale into the linen closet. Either way... I have lost over 10 lbs since surgery! Kind of makes the other stuff worth it.
3- I have been petrified to look at my incisions... Not sure what I was expecting... but yesterday the nurse said I could take off the steri strips and band-aids. Thankfully my mom was here when I did it. I guess I was expecting to freak out... Well, my surgeon, Dr. Evanson did an AMAZING job. I had a total of 6 incisions- you can see 5 because he is so awesome he uses the belly button as one! Well one of the five is the bigger one... It might be an inch and a half long. It is a really thin line! I cannot believe how amazing it looks... and well the other four... they look pretty comparable to a bug bite! I am so pleased with it!

I am done with clear liquids... I cannot have a lot of milk products for a bit... Applesauce still goes down the best... then again I have not tried much else. Oopsie! I have to try protein drinks and supplements today! Pray for that! :-)

Friday.... better be Fabulous

Well... Friday started out with lot of presents... Men - cover your eyes- Ladies- grab your sympathy! My first big gift.... dear aunt flo came. Thrilling... Bet you are all envious... Nausea also came... BUT I did get to change my patch! Woohoooo... Nausea patches are Christmas presents to me! I did choke down the Carafate.... after a lot of belching and gagging... My sink only got a few dots...I bet you are wondering if the runs are still here? Well of course they are!
So... I e-mailed the dietitian- who is fabulous... I called Dr. E's nurse- Melinda- who is the best! Today I get to take off the bandages on my "holes" I know... watch out... human fountain coming! KIDDING. I can go back to regular liquids.. NO milk products... I can start protein shakes when I want... now that is a funny idea... I am scared to try them! But I can mix them with juice too... I can start eating when I am ready... no milk- which means no cottage cheese... ahhhhhh.... I can also take immodium... I will be going to the store soon to get that little gift.... I can take tylenol based products for cramps.... oh and I can even take ibuprofen for a few days... as long as I drink the lovely Carafate and take Nexium... She is just the best! I am so thankful for all of her advice... as well as that of the dietitians- Kathy and Melinda...
Wait... I think Melinda must mean helpful... because they both have been amazing!
Well... we shall see what today brings.... Happy Friday!

How do I really feel?

Well.... I just asked myself this... the answer is.... STIR CRAZY!!!!!!!
I am writing again because I am bored. It stinks I do not want to risk being too far from a potty...
Oh... totally off topic... so there is this incision in my abdomen... where they put the instruments... and it is like a LOT bigger than the ones they put the lights and camera.... Well... It makes a divot. I think it is sooo funny. Talk about being lopsided! I love my divot though.
Did you know that channel 12 has the Today show on until 11 and then Ellen comes on? Seriously saves my life!
Well... I am a little behind on fluids so I better get up and sip sip sip more...

Thursday- Clear Day

Today it is back to clear liquids. I had an easy night so I woke up today with hope! I was even going to go into the office to say hello. Unfortunately my pouch and bowels had other plans. So far, nothing has changed with clear liquids. If nothing is different by tomorrow morning... I will call the surgeon. Initially I thought it was nerves. I do think part of it may be bacteria and antibiotics.... Who knows at this point!
Maybe tomorrow I can leave the house again! The pain is better... I am just afraid to be too far from a toilet! Sorry.... I know TMI. However, is the truth! Ahhhh....

I drove!!!!!

I finally got in the car and drove today!! Wow.... I forgot how much I missed it! I just drove to St. V Carmel... so literally 5 minutes each way. I did go to Meijer to buy Juicy Juice- Did you know it is 100% juice?
I met with a nut today about my tummy and why I was getting ewwwws..... She said I need to go on clear liquids for 24-48 hours... If it does not stop by Friday... I need to call the surgeon... maybe I will need bacteria cultures back in my intestines.... It all makes sense. I had a lot of antibiotics in the hospital... I do not react well to antibiotics and have been on a lot of pain meds... which stop tummy ewwwws.... Well... Now I am off of pain meds and now have ewwwsss..... So maybe the antibiotics in the hospital worked too well!
I do see a little light here....
The biggest light is that I can drive!!!!!!! I am sooo excited! I just hope the ewwwwws stay away long enough so I can try to at least go out of the house once a day!

Wednesday

Well... Today I am determined to be positive. I am determined to try a protein drink.
I got a late start by not getting up until 9... this means I will need to be very on top of everything.
Yesterday I was convinced the apple sauce was making me sick. Today, I am not so sure. I still have a sour stomach. Maybe my new tummy is not a fan of me right now? I really do not know.
I am going to drive for the first time. I am going to the dietitian just to see what is going on. I really thought the nausea patch would solve everything... It has helped but I still wake up sour.
I have to try a protein drink today so we shall see what happens. I almost wonder if a lot of this is just nerves. Could very well be!
I am hoping to get information later today! Attitude will be the key. I have been told over and over again.... this is not an easy ordeal. I guess I expected it to not be this hard. Then again... I have always had a sour tummy!
Happy Wednesday!

Positive Post

I realize many of my posts have not been positive... However, this one will be a little positive. My brother came to bring nausea patches today. I am so thankful he delivered them! I will be more thankful when they work!
I am thankful for the visit. He had many inspiring words and the conversation was just nice! I have learned a lot in this journey... and one major learning point is how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life! I really hope to turn a corner very soon!
Thank-you to all for your support!

Today's Update

I did get home from the hospital late last night. It has still been rough. I am determined to make it through... but just when I gain determination... I get sick again. I am starting to wonder if I am not experiencing "dumping syndrome." It is not uncommon and I do have some of the symptoms. Thankfully there is an amazing dietitian at the center I keep e-mailing. I also get a nausea patch this afternoon. I can only hope that will help! Something has to give at some point. I am just trying to stay positive. I certainly did not think since I was so low risk I would be going through all of this!

Update... Back for Fluids

Apparently 2 quarts is only 64 ounces... which is what I should be getting in a day... I am headed back to St. V for more fluids.... Let's hope this puts me over the hump!!

What is it really like?

Here is something I posted on another website... this should depict what it is really like...

I have been reading a lot of different websites with people's opinion on RNY.... I have also seen places where non obese people call it the easy way out... Well... I have now learned... there is NOTHING easy about it.
I am known as determined and I can tell you... my will has been tested... I thought it would be moderately difficult... 6 days out of surgery and I can tell you this is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done! Right now... every day is a challenge.
I have had pain... which ironically is low today...
I have not once gotten enough liquids- I thought I did.
However, am convinced today I will get 64 ounces.
I have gagged Carafate- which I have to take 4 times a day for 30 days. Then again, the old me would have never been able to take it period!
I have yet to start protein shakes- because my body was not ready. I will try this afternoon. I need to get through this nausea.
I have lived on cottage cheese and applesauce and lemonade- Crystal Lite.
I have walked around my flat but the reality is... All I want to do is sleep.
I am freezing one minute and hot the next... No- I do not have a fever.
Every time I see a pizza commercial- I want to break the TV and eat it... Last night I had a dream about donuts- and thankfully woke up thinking how silly that was... even a donut hole will kill me.
I desperately want a bubble bath and I know I cannot have one for a few more weeks...
However... at the end of the day... I know the first week or three are the worst. This is why I am taking Lexapro.
I am also thankful to be off of blood pressure medication.

I guess my point of this is... wow am I surprised at the challenge.
I will gladly be there to support anyone who is in need because I can tell you the e-mails from my friends who have had this... have come at the perfect time. Success does depend on ones' self but is also impacted by others that have been through this!

Here is to 64 ounces of fluid today and hopefully at least 1-2 protein drinks!

I am trying very hard today... All I want to do is eat applesauce and cry.... My BP is now elevated... if it does not decrease and if I do not lose the nausea and light headed feeling... I will call the surgeon later... I know the first week is heck week... I guess I was not prepared!

Reality

Well... I have now been home since Friday. Today reality hit. Here is the newsflash: anyone that said or thought this was easy- including myself- is incorrect... the words for today are rough and reality. I have struggled all day to get in liquids... stay warm... find motivation... even get up... have any sort of positive attitude... I have made myself a raging hypochondriac- which I am not.
I have had buyer's remorse today- I was warned this would happen. I took pain pills early this morning and did not need them the rest of the day. Tomorrow I will go take a walk... I will start protein drinks- wish me luck here! I will get in 64 ounces of fluid... I will have a more positive attitude... I will not be a poop because I made this decision...

Surgery and Recovery

Well... Since the last posting... Surgery has come and gone.... A couple of notable items...
Nerves really hit the night before surgery. I cannot tell you how many times I almost ordered a pizza and said to heck with it the night before surgery. It was ROUGH... emotionally I felt like a train wreck. That was the most difficult part.
The morning of surgery... I was totally nervous... more nervous than anticipated. I did a decent job holding together... but did ask for something to calm down prior to going under.
The chaplain came in... he is such a fantastic guy... he prayed... and of course I cried! Yeah... the girl who is not a big crier lost it in prayer. I think I was just highly overwhelmed.
Then the fabulous nurse brought in Valium... I remember very little after that. I do remember seeing a childhood friend's mother. That was nice. I also remember going to the bathroom about 10 times... I still cannot remember how I got to the OR. My mom says I was pushed... probably a SMART idea since the Valium was live and well!
The last thing I remember was being in the OR... and just telling them to hurry and knock me out... before going under... I do remember telling everyone in the OR that the lights had to have been painted by Van Goh....
I remember waking up in recovery... seeing people on gurneys and having to go to the bathroom. They thankfully gave me a bed pan... then came the dissertation... the dissertation on why they should let me get up and go to the bathroom because I am a 30 year old woman... and 30 year old women do NOT pee their pants. I cannot tell you how many times I told this story and gave them the information. What a trip... I feel soo bad for the people in the recovery room.
I got to my room and had a few issues... Nausea was insane. I felt horrible every time I stood up. I did vomit a little rust colored stuff a few times. The on-call surgeon was called and gave me this amazing "liquid band-aid" that was a savior. I kept with the pain and nausea meds all day... made an amazing difference.... I also started walking more.
Thursday was much better! I felt much better and was walking much better. Apparently I was sending wild text messages Weds and Thurs.. Sorry for anyone who received one!
I got to come home Friday afternoon.... It has been a roller coaster since coming home... I will post more later!